The campaign for the next president of the United States of America is in the home stretch, and campaigns are a great time for America's crazy people to show their love for a candidate. Sure, they could just talk into your laptop's camera and speak their mind, but the smart ones seem to always turn to the same format to get their message out there: the music video.
So, ahead of tonight's debate, let's see what we've got. We'll take you through the highlights of this election season, as well as take you down memory lane to the music videos of the 2008 election.
Paul Ryan Girl: Let's Get Fiscal
A little sex appeal never hurt anyone, and this video by a Paul Ryan supporter breaks out the vintage workout gear to talk about how she likes Paul Ryan and his thoughts on fiscal policy to the tune of "Physical" by Olivia Newton-John. The clever tie in here is that Paul Ryan is a known fitness nut so she's done her homework in how she's going to pry him away from his wife.
Along the way we meet "Obama Girl" in 2012, who has apparently become a heroin addict and for some reason has brought a resume to work out with "Paul Ryan" girl. Obama Girl's resume is a list of classic shifty liberal activities such as "Riding on Subway Trains".
There's a lot going on here, but we're short on policy specifics. We are, however, not short on ass shots.
P-P-P-Paul Ryan
Ladies on both sides seem to be have a thing for Paul Ryan, so naturally here's a very polished music video about how these women would like to essentially hate fuck Paul Ryan to a motown beat. And they're dressed up like the Kennedys because history.
Best We Could Find for Romney
Paul Ryan has an embarrassment of riches when it comes to videos featuring ladies rapping about how they are sexually attracted to him. Best we could find for Romney is this parody of Nicki Minaj endorsing Mitt Romney to the beat of "Monster". Sorry Mitt, you'll need to take what you can get. I bet this lady is available for campaign appearances if you want.
Obama Girl
This is the classic from 2008. With much of the country getting to know Barack Obama in the summer of 2007, a video of Amber Lee Ettinger in a tight shirt interspersed with clips of Obama didn't hurt as far as anyone can tell.
Looking back on this in 2012, it's interesting to note how much more sexually overt "Crush On Obama" is than the relatively tame "Paul Ryan Girl". Also, we wonder if he ever got his "head of state" (zing).
Yes We Can - will.i.am
Remember this one? Of course you do. Will.i.am and Scarlett Johansson (the only ones I can identify without looking anything up) sing along to Obama's famous New Hampshire primary concession speech. Didn't they play this live at the DNC that year? Either way, this one is notable for being a straight, serious music video instead of some chick in her underwear rubbing up on some pictures of a candidate.
It's Raining McCain
If you don't remember this from 2008, then you really didn't have your head in the game.
The videos above are alright, but none of them will give you more joy than sitting through this video and watching - really watching - all the beautiful details. It's four years later and I still want to go out and get absolutely John McCain.
