I am frequently asked (by no one) who I'd like to hang out with if I could hang out with anyone at all. It's a great question, thanks! The answer for me is easy - Princess Beatrice of York, hands down. She's famous for the hat she wore during the royal wedding, but there's so much more we could talk about. One of the things I'd really like to know is, are you mad that Fergie stole your mom's name and then confused everyone by making a music video about London?
Before Fergie from Black Eyed Peas, there was Fergie, aka Sarah, Duchess of York, and everyone knew it. When BEP Fergie decided to be called Fergie she knew exactly what she was doing, and we the general public could keep them straight for a while. And then in 2006 Fergie fired a shot across the bow. She decided she was going to make a song called "London Bridge" and then a music video in London, so that now whenever young people think of Fergie and England they will think of BEP Fergie grinding on the Queen's Guard.
If you don't think this was done on purpose and possibly even paid for by enemies of the Duchess (wait, holy crap "London Bridge" was on an album called The Dutchess) I don't know what I can say to persuade you, so let's just watch the video. It was directed by Marc Webb.
You'll notice here we are watching some random Vimeo source for this video because unlink "Fergalicious" which also came out in 2006, "London Bridge" is not available on Fergie's VEVO account or anywhere else really. Odd.
The video finds Fergie and two lady posse members in London. They are Americans with an American car that goes up and down and they are hanging out in old English places and having a good time. This includes a gentlemen's club which is apparently a nice place to hang out in England and not a strip club with a buffet like it is here in America. Black Eyed Peas are there as well and misc hangers on. Good times are all around.
This video produces some memorable images, and I think one of the most successful is Fergie dancing around the Queen's Guard. The Queen's Guard famously are supposed to just stand there and look ahead no matter what is going on (except if someone is kidnapping the queen), so what better way to show the crazy sexy American subverting English culture than to show her trying to give give the Queen's Guard funny hat guy a boner. This is also a sexed up version of what every tourist has done since the Queen's Guard has been around.
For all the posturing and scenes in gentlemen's clubs, there thankfully is very little trace of a sort of "you're stuffy English and we're going to show you how to party" in the video. One of my favorite reveals is towards the end of the video where the two Queen's Guard guys are dancing with Fergie. Everyone is having fun, well, except maybe for will.i.am. There are several shots of will.i.am in this video looking like he is not having it whatsoever. Maybe he doesn't like England. But everyone seems to be enjoying the stuff in England instead of taking paintings down and humping them.
The conituity issue of Fergie walking in with a drink and then not having it anymore once she waves off the paparazzi kind of bothers me though. And the fact that the paparazzi are inside the lobby instead of outside. You know what, I'm not going to think about it too hard.
I imagine Princess Beatrice tells people her mom is Fergie and they start singing this song and grinding on the nearest Queen's Guard members (they are everywhere, I assume). It's not fair, really. The real Duchess Fergie is actually interesting - for example, Turkey has been trying to extradite her for a while now to send her to prison. But instead, we have America Fergie, and she wants to love you long time.
